“I’m talking to a plastic plant…and I’m still doing it.”
…So the antibiotics have kicked in. Pain-free until at least the 26th one can hope. So, to matters of a scholarly nature.
Assignments are in. Must admit I am not all that fond of having group work to do, being a more solitary writing entity, but I’ll chip in as I always do. Quite looking forward to putting together some advertising material for the feature though, should be interesting to see what I can get done in the allotted time.
Also, I have had the chance to plough a little further into the script itself. Still a long way off, but we’re getting there so we are. I’m thinking a few days solid spent on it will get me past the finish line of first draft status, then I can look back and start to rip it to pieces.
Anyway, back to this reviewing malarky. Next up:
The Happening
Now, I haven’t seen a Shyamalan film since Signs. Never saw The Village or Lady in the Water, and I had no real interest in seeing this one, as I am not that big a fan of Mark Wahlberg, and to be honest, Shyamalan as well. I didn’t enjoy Signs. So I guess I went into this one with a closed eye to any qualities it might have possessed.
So, The Happening tells the tale of a man and his straying (not quite estranged, good start) wife who are caught in the middle of mysterious happenings in the US, when people suddenly start stopping dead, walking a few steps backwards and then killing themselves in spectacular (or unspectacular, if you count the old woman near the end) ways.
Spoiler Alert – I am going to ruin this films ending in this blog. I don’t often do this, but whoever doesn’t want to know, go and read something else. Now.
Jesus. Shitting. Christ.
Okay, first off, you have the main cast, Mark ‘I’m on camera so that must mean I can act’ Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, who is no good in this, and John Leguizamo, whose awesome talents were completely wasted in this film, pottering around when suddenly and without explanation people start to die. Not in a horrible way that would suggest malice, but of their own volition, which in itself is quite a sinister thought. Often in reality something must have really gone wrong in someones life for them to even entertain the notion of ending it. In all truth, this film might be the trigger that makes me end mine.
Now don’t get me wrong, the idea is astounding. People committing mass suicide. Why? Who knows, so Intrepid hero and his trusty wife and small hispanic friend set out to find out – except our hero is Mark Wahlberg, and they kill off John Leguizamo after half an hour. So the idea of creating a menacing scenario soon dies and becomes a stupid film that ends with the MOTHER of all twists. Wait for it…
IT WAS THE TREES!!!!
Yes. The trees. After making The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable (the former having a fine twist, the latter being one of my favourite films), M. Night Shyamalan makes this horseshit with the twist being that “some kind of evolutionary change in the plants is making them turn people suicidal”. Fuck off, I’ve seen more original and quite frankly more entertaining things in the bottom of a porcelain bowl. I just don’t see how he could have taken such a disturbingly good concept and screwed it up so badly. The casting of Wahlberg I can almost forgive, but only because even without him the film would have been shit.
Honestly, there were a couple of things I really liked about this film. There were some awesome set pieces, like people hanging from trees in a surburban street, the workmen launching themselves from the top of a building and some guy lying down in front of an active lawnmower. Oh, and that annoying kid from the Santa Clause movies gets a shotgun shell in the chest. Best moment of the whole film for me. Other than that, probably some of the poorest material to come out of Hollywood in 2008. Hell, apparently some of the affected victims could survive the effects a little longer than others. Just so they could explain what was going on. Bullshit. The audience is intelligent Shyamalan, get back to realising that.
So, with that utter crap out of the way, whats next? This is.
Appaloosa.
